He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
