btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
