how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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