Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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