is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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