He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
