Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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