youre lurking in front of me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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