I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
