Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
