yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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