Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize