the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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