i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
