somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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