I'm lost and stupid without you.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
