i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
