hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
