That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
