So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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