Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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