When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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