hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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