There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
