Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
