Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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