My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
