McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
