I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
