Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
