She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
