We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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