It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
