forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So much rum. So many feels.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
