I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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