Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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