As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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