Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
