Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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