if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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