Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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