It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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