it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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