you win again, gameday.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
