So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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