theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My vagina is officially offended.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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