I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
