I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It's Friday. Sex?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
