just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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