dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Welp...herpes.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
