woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
