The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
