I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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