I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
