Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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