So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
