just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
